Fuck You, Vanity Fair!

Tristram Shandy would never stoop so low as to call for a boycott. That kind of shit's for the "I-wuz-hijacked-by-9/11" crowd. However, we must spit in the general direction of Vanity Fair for firing Andrew Krucoff. 1) VF, you suck ass. In case TS readers didn't know, we take great delight in informing you that, no, Graydon Carter does not write his own editor's letter. Dick. 2) We're going to go one further than Miss Coen, and pray that you fuckers lose even more lawsuits. Like when the Proust estate finally gets around to suing your fucking asses for defamation of character. On the plus side, we assume that it's only a matter of days before he starts working at the Observer, where his talents will be better suited. Peter W. Kaplan is a far better man.

Jesus Is My Puppeteer

President George W. Bush told Palestinian ministers that God had told him to invade Afghanistan and Iraq - and create a Palestinian State, a new BBC series reveals. August 25, 2005 "Georgie, idle hands, devil's playground, as you know damn well. So, here's the agenda: New Orleans will incur My wrath. Right, the "happy place with the tits, beads and sad black folk"... I want you to be a little slow coming out of the gate, if you know what I mean. Right! Just like 9/11! Casualties? Oooooh, sure. 954 corpses in Louisiana, alone. But you know the expression: "It is My will!" Then -- and I know this'll seem weird, Little Buddy, but bear with Me -- stick Miers on the bench. Right, the one with the mascara issues who works down the hall... Executive privilege on her papers? Sure! Next up: remember Job? Riiiiiiiight. Yes, well, just as he suffered, so shall large numbers of swarthy Iraqis... Remember that measure that would regulate the detention, interrogation and treatment of prisoners held by the American military? Yes! The "liberal, pussified, white glove amendment."I want you to veto the shit out of it..." UPDATE: C&L readers, we -- as always -- humbly welcome you.